What? Who the heck is ‘Inner Mean Girl’? She’s that little voice in your brain telling you you aren’t good enough, you aren’t pretty enough, you just aren’t. Super negative and never has a nice thing to say. Would rather you feel inadequate and stuck where you are than to grow and change. Sound familiar? Mmhmm, thought so. We ALL have them and for a lot of us, they become LOUD when we are stressed, anxious, busy, tired. Cue, the holiday season! Keep reading if you want a few tips on how to conquer or at least turn down the volume on your Inner Mean Girl…
- Name her (or him!) Remember that kid from school that you JUST didn’t get on with? The bully or the not so nice one? Did you value their opinion? Did you think what they said was really true? Probably not. So a trick I like to use is to name my Inner Mean Girl that kid’s name. It helps me to differentiate and to realise that ALL that smack that is being talked? Yeah, it ain’t true.
- Write it out. Once you notice the narrative going on in your head, shine a light on it-journal it out and try to get down to the bottom of why it is being said. Once you’ve identified it, journaled on it, it is time to move on. Close the door on that conversation and try to walk away (sometimes easier said than done but if you’ve hit on what it is and WHY it is being said, it is easier. And it gets easier)
- Gratitude! When we can come into gratitude, we are more able to understand falsehoods our mind is telling us. So write it out. And maybe gratitude isn’t coming easily for you, that’s ok. Think about all the things you have in your like you are truly thankful for-the more you write those down, the easier it gets.
- Is it true? Possibly one of my favourite exercises to use. Is it true allows you to take the statement and break it down to see if there is any truth in it. For example, ‘I am an awful friend.’ Is it true? Well, no, because I have some great friends who really value my input. Keep going until you realise the statement is false.
These are just a few ways to check your Inner Mean Girl at the door. Take what works and what feels good, leave the rest. Having this as a tool is really handy, especially if you find yourself lacking in energy and more anxious, stressed, overwhelmed this holiday season.