It’s OK to be Sad


gratitude, happiness, kindness, Uncategorized / Monday, January 6th, 2020

It’s been a few years since we lost Grandpa. And honestly, I lost a little bit of him every time I left home. And while that breaks my heart, it also has made the inevitable a little bit easier.
I wasn’t there to see the slow decline. The shock of it was there every time I stepped through that kitchen door. I was never very good at hiding my upset, but the wave of love for the fact he was still there, sitting at that table that he’d sat at for years, was enough to push the fear down.
The phone call, you know the one. I had imagined how it would go over and over in my head for years. I don’t think I ever imagined it the same and I definitely thought it would wipe me out a lot longer than it did. It didn’t. That first Christmas was awful, it was really hard going home that first time. It has gotten easier on that front.
However, some days, I’ll hear a song or stumble across a photo or remember something, and I will break down. And you know what? It is ok. It is ok to hear a song and remember and cry. It is ok to have those memories, I bet the good far outweigh the bad. And all those sayings and things they tried to teach you? You’ll surprise yourself with how many you actually remember and believe in.
It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to cry, and it is ok to miss them every single day.